9.Jinyan Zhao — Direct

JINYAN ZHAO: My name is Jinyan Zhao, my last name Zhao spelled Z-H-A-O.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes, call me Helen.

JINYAN ZHAO: I live in Cranston, Rhode Island.

JINYAN ZHAO: About 20 years.

JINYAN ZHAO: About 20 years.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes.

JINYAN ZHAO: My husband and two kids.

JINYAN ZHAO: Lingzi call me "aunt" because my sister married to Lingzi's mother's brother. So basically, you know, Lingzi call my sister "aunt," so she call me "aunt."

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes, as a niece.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes.

JINYAN ZHAO: No.

JINYAN ZHAO: I don't think they're capable because the devastation that had -- even mention about, you know, the whole case, stuff. One time they told me, the husband -- things the father told me, the mom could not get out of bed for two days just to hear, you know, something from this side. So they absolutely cannot make it here.

JINYAN ZHAO: Lingzi grow up very ordinary, middle-class family. And she live with her parents and her mother's side parents. So three generations lived together.

JINYAN ZHAO: Some, but I think their case actually very special. I think they get along very well and they're very close, so they lived together for, like, at least 15 years. I think when the parents first got married, were not together, then they moved together. So since -- I think since she was born, they live together.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yeah, a couple of times.

JINYAN ZHAO: Shenyang, China.

JINYAN ZHAO: S-H-E-N-Y-A-N-G.

JINYAN ZHAO: August 2012.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes. Yeah, when she start looking for apartment when she still in China, we start to emailing. And she show me, you know, the apartments she found with her roommate. And I help her, you know, get apartment ready.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes, they met online actually, but in China. So they knew they both going to go to BU, so they form a friendship and they decide to live together. They find an apartment.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yeah.

JINYAN ZHAO: I think she always do. Since she's small, I think she just want to go out, you know, to, you know, make something for herself. I think America was her first choice, just the education, the schools, just every -- you know, kids want to come here to study.

JINYAN ZHAO: No, not for her because she's -- their family very average, middle-class. And I know their relatives help them out, you know, they pitched in together, you know, to try to send her here.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yeah. Yeah.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yeah. Because I think she's an only child, so I'm sure, you know, everybody can relate to this is an only child, only daughter, to allow her to come all the way here, it's going to be hard. I think it's going to be very hard for the parents. But I think they want her to be happy, to do what she wants, so they let her out.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes. We -- my husband and I pick her up at Logan Airport in the morning. It remind me like 20 years ago, you know, when I first landed in this country. It's just kind of, you know, you're nervous. Actually, she came with her cousin, which is my sister's son. They both came, one for graduate school and one for high school.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yeah. Yeah.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yeah. My nephew.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yeah, her cousin.

JINYAN ZHAO: August 200- -- August 2012.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes. And actually, we -- they arrived really early that morning so it got -- I think we going to treat them in Chinatown. And actually they're not -- you know, too early, so the restaurants aren't open. So we end up at this greasy basement -- this only place open. And actually --

JINYAN ZHAO: -- she order like I think ham-egg sandwich, big one. So I was impressed, gosh, after 15 hours flying you still have the appetite to eat it, yeah? So this good memory. It's the first -- it's really memorable.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes. I can see exciting and also nervous. Yeah, just everything's new, you know, just start her new life here.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes. Yeah, we -- actually, before she came, we know she rent an apartment. Then actually, so we save some furniture for her. So we rent a truck and we drove -- you know, set her up. And because actually, the apartment, the doorway to the stairs is so narrow so we basically have to take the bed apart and actually assemble right in her room. And it was summer. It was a hot day. I remember clearly. My husband bring the tools and assemble the bed there for her. It's very exciting for us too. This make me feel like -- taste a little bit of sending your kids to college, because my kids still young. But it just very exciting for me to see how she going to start her life.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes. Yes. At the beginning we kind of, you know, went to pick them up because this is new. So eventually, you know, they took train on weekends, come over, and Thanksgiving break and Christmas break.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yeah, Lingzi, you know, she love food, you know, she have a sweet tooth, you know, deserts. And she's very excited about small things. Everything you do -- she's type of kid, the parents want to cook for her, because everything you cook, she say, "It's so good. It's awesome. Thank Auntie and Uncle." So every time she comes down, you know, we tried to cook something good for her, I know she's going to enjoy it, if nobody else, yeah. And she loved the turkey.

JINYAN ZHAO: And she loved the pumpkin pie. Actually, at the end of day they would have half left, I remember she sitting there by herself at the dining room table reading the iPad, something, she just one spoon, one spoon, and okay, I tell myself, "Is she going to finish the whole pie?" And actually, she did.

JINYAN ZHAO: At the end, "Oh, Auntie, Auntie," you know, "I finished the whole pie." She's, you know, kind of like bubbly and just innocent girl.

JINYAN ZHAO: You know, we talk. You know, she share her stuff, you know, school, friends. And the world, what she wants to do and later. And we talked about boys too.

JINYAN ZHAO: Statistics.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes, she -- at the memorial service her professor talk about her, she's a very diligent -- very, very good student, and smart and hard working.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes. Actually, one time I saw her notebook. And she wrote a lot of notes. And it's so neat, it almost look like it's a part of a textbook. She write a note on the textbook. It's just that impressive. And she wrote a lot, and every letter so neat. Yeah, just she is. And when she -- Christmas break, you know, she brought school stuff there, you know, and she gets up every morning at same time, even on break, and just, you know, either read or something. She's very disciplined, you know.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes. She played since she was very little. That from her parents. You know, I wasn't with her. But even -- she continue even in BU, she took piano lessons with somebody.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yeah, they have fun. Yeah, she had a lot of friends over there. And they go out, you know. I know she visit New York, you know, some of her friends there, so they went to see Broadway. I think it was the Phantom of the Opera. She loved music. She told me she was very excited, finally she got to see it.

JINYAN ZHAO: I think she basically laugh. Everything just good in life. I think, like, she love animals. She has pet. She called herself "sister" to the pet. And she loved good food, appreciate good food. And she told me, you know, how much she likes Boston. She told me once, she said, "Oh, Auntie, like every corner I saw -- I turn" -- it's a picture to her. At Boston, you know, she like the brownstone building. And actually, that spring she was very excited to see spring finally come. Because she came August, so she didn't get to enjoy the spring. And she told me, "Oh, I can't wait to see how pretty Boston going to be in the spring."

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes, she went to Florida that March break.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yeah.

JINYAN ZHAO: I think they went to Disney. I know that area.

JINYAN ZHAO: I think -- she told me actually that summer, she had wanted to work in internship somewhere, Wall Street. But ultimately, she want to have a job in New York, Wall Street. And that's, you know, her ambitions. She want to work some -- you know, I don't know, the pension planning, that part of business.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yeah.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes. Yes.

JINYAN ZHAO: That thing, it started 19- -- I think 1970. I was the last one, last generation. My parents, you know, able to have two. I have a sister. But since I think 1978 or '77 it started, you know, to control the population. So it's a one-child policy.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes.

JINYAN ZHAO: Because my brother-in-law was -- he live in different city. So in that city, just Lingzi's parents and grandparents and her. So I can imagine she is the, you know, center of that family. And her grandparents basically, particularly her grandfather, I think it's her first teacher, he, you know, bring her -- introduce her to books and taught her Chinese calligraphy. And her grandmother in the morning braid her hair, you know, bring her to classes, you know, that kind of stuff. And they're very close. And I think there's only one granddaughter there, so I guess she got all the attention, yeah.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes. And her grandfather last year finally wrote a book for her, you know, to memory of her.

JINYAN ZHAO: Uh-huh.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes, very much.

JINYAN ZHAO: This book basically is from her -- so first it talk about the bomb, you know, the whole thing that few days' incident, then start from how she growing up a small -- you know, the family stuff. So then eventually they also have her diaries since she kept diaries since she was small. I think she thought her grandfather taught her it's good way to keep, you know, writing down things and practice writing -- and, yeah, it was about her life. And also a lot of her friends wrote about her in the book too.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes. That's why I guess the Chinese parents, they sacrifice for their kids. It's just the culture, you know, the parents do the best for their kids, and in return, when they get older, the children, you know, take care of the elderly. If you don't, there's a strong culture stigma, you know, if you don't, you know, take care of your elderly. So that just for the parents, it's just extremely sad. It's sad, you know, she's gone.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes.

JINYAN ZHAO: She went to a college called Beijing University of Technology. There I think she study international finance. And she went to -- actually, she went to California for a couple of months around that time to study. And also I think at that time she also want to get experience, explore the option to come here to study.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes, she loved -- she loved food in general. So, yes, so she cook and she enjoy other people's cooking, yeah.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes. She's very conscious -- she conscious about, you know, healthy eating, and she will cook herself something good, but also she had weakness for the sweets, you know? She can't help. And one time we told her we're going to swing by her apartment. And she purposely, actually, leave a cupcake, actually, she told me she bought from the cupcake place in Newbury Street, like very famous she discovered, so she have to save one for my daughter. Yeah, she's a sweet kid.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes, she does. You know, I ask, "Do you have boyfriend?" You know, typical self. She doesn't have so I ask her a lot. Yes, she had -- actually, one time she had a boy ask her out, and she likes him too. But then later I ask her how did it go, the date, and she said, "Auntie, I don't know why he did not talk." I said, "Why?"

JINYAN ZHAO: Yeah, "Why he didn't ask me" -- "He didn't talk?" I said, so "Why didn't you ask him question?" And then she said, "He's the one ask me out. Why he's not talking to me?"

JINYAN ZHAO: She said -- I said then -- so -- you know, think about something to talk. And she said, "Auntie, no." She admitted herself, that's what she said, she's lacking intelligence in romance. She does not know how to talk to boys. So I think about these two just sitting there being all curt.

JINYAN ZHAO: She's interesting person, actually. Very, like, physical and bubbly. But also, of course, she's very smart, determined, very focused, very studious kid. And -- but she's very interesting. She has this comfort personality, you know, that struck me as -- like when we're going to see -- she's very conscious about her look. She want to look good too, pretty, but also, she had no problem go on stage. If people ask her to say something or sing, she would do it. She just don't have that -- what's the word -- like feel embarrassed. Very brief, actually. And I feel she's kind of a beautiful nerd. One was just this beautiful, you know, then she's nerdy too. It's the one time she told me -- a test in China, one big test, she -- she was really tired, you know, she study overnight. She actually decided to take a half-hour nap once she'd taken the test. And she said she woke up and she continued the test and she did very well. So I said, "Okay, I can't believe you did that. That's really weird." But, yes, she's very interesting kid. And she discovered the whipped cream actually one time. And I make pancake and I say, "Pancake goes with whipped cream, right?" And she tried the whipped cream, then she's just sitting there kind of eating the whipped cream without the pancake, then she kept scraping the whipped cream -- she make my daughter laughing too. It's kind of like silly girl too, yeah.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes. She just get excited from things that -- very upbeat, very vibrant kid.

JINYAN ZHAO: Most by that WeChat, and also at time Scape -- not Scape. What's that word? Skype.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yeah.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yeah, a Chinese communication.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes, every time I think she need to call the pet, "Come over to the screen, let sister look at you. Let big sister look at you." She was really talking to the pet like her sister.

JINYAN ZHAO: That Friday before the bomb, the 15th. I just asked her -- typically every weekend I would ask her if she's going to come down and that -- no, she just told me she's busy, she had a lot of exam, so she said she need to study. And besides, she only just have one day off because that day is the high school break. So, yeah, she just say no, she's going to stay there. I did not think she's going to go to watch marathon; I thought she going to study.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yeah, only over here. Rhode Island is not.

JINYAN ZHAO: Hmm. Hmm. Yeah, saying, you know, she's not coming down because she had too much to do.

JINYAN ZHAO: Just a very calm, very confident, like articulate, you know, when she speaks. And kind of not rushed; take her time to speak, yeah.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yeah.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yeah, I kept her -- so I never delete her voicemails, so she's always there.

JINYAN ZHAO: You mean her parents?

JINYAN ZHAO: How they doing now?

JINYAN ZHAO: Oh, okay. Yeah, I mean, I -- because I'm in this country so I didn't go back that often, so but over the years I just, you know, hear from my sister, my brother-in-law, just, you know, they talk about -- a lot about her, you know, just how proud the parents, you know, about her, you know, how this girl was just so, you know, determined at school, you know, very pleasant to be around. They're very, very proud of her.

JINYAN ZHAO: As a daughter? I think she's kind of sweet. And I think at first she -- I learned when she's here, I can tell she's really appreciative of what her parents did for her. You know, she really want to get good job and graduate and she can give her parents back, you know, have them have a better life, live more, and even enjoy some more. And even went to the mall, Providence Mall, you know, the first thing she'll try to look through some things for her grandmother and her mother. So she's just all-around good girl.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes, very much. Because, I mean, boy, I mean, she's extremely good, she -- I mean, she took good notes. And, you know, on the textbook, my nephew's average. So my brother-in-law, you know, just always use her as an example, "Why don't you just, you know, learn something from Lingzi, like take better notes so you get better grades like Lingzi." Yes, she help him a lot, you know, in school stuff, and she -- also, anytime he, you know, needs help, she was like a big sister to him.

JINYAN ZHAO: Her cousin.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes, he did. I drop him off in June 2013. That day when I dropped him off, it's the same spot pretty much I picked both them up. When that -- when I see -- give him a hug, I do felt, you know, how his grandparents going to felt when they send two here and only one back. That was a very hard day for me.

JINYAN ZHAO: Um.

JINYAN ZHAO: I think this in California. I think when she went to -- I think it was Riverside, California. She was there for two months.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yeah, I think it's her third year in college.

JINYAN ZHAO: Let me think. 2011.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yeah, 2010, somewhere around there. Yeah.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yeah, that's one Shenyang, her hometown. I think it's her birthday, you know, in the apartment room, they have just family get-together.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yeah.

JINYAN ZHAO: What's that?

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes, it's a cake. Yes.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes, she did. Yeah. Actually, we went -- when she was with me, we took her to Narragansett. Yeah, I mean, we took her to little crabbing, little spot, you know, she enjoy very much.

JINYAN ZHAO: I think this one probably is in Disney somewhere.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes. Silly picture.

JINYAN ZHAO: I think this one, I think, is in her college.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yeah.

JINYAN ZHAO: Uh-huh.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes. Yeah, the Boston police, the next morning, they called me, told me they're going to come down. So at that time we don't know where she is, so -- anything. So we thought, "Okay. They're coming." We kind of think something not good, but he didn't say anything. So they came down -- two of them came to my house, you know, basically said, "I'm sorry. That's your niece?" At that time in China, they already start -- they heard about -- you know, they have Lingzi friends in Boston try to look for her. So then I talk to my sister first, so, and my brother-in-law, say, "You guys going to figure out how to say to them."

JINYAN ZHAO: It's just shock. My sister, like really just shock. Because nobody ever going to think, you know -- I have think so many different scenarios, she probably got kidnapped or something, you know, but never crossed my -- even that morning, it still never crossed my mind she could be dead.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes, they came over on the 19th.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes, I booked the flights for them and -- yeah. And BU helped a lot too.

JINYAN ZHAO: We didn't talk that when they're flying this, you know, here. But after, yeah, then, you know, we decided -- they decided -- we have to decide how we going to do it, you know? Then --

JINYAN ZHAO: They decided to leave her here.

JINYAN ZHAO: I think they decide -- I think after they arrived, it's kind of -- it's kind of chaos to me because everything happen. And at a quiet time, then they start talking about, "Okay. The body is in funeral home. Okay, what we do?" Then some relatives suggest, you know, move back and they suggest here. But ultimately her mom want her to be here because I think she just felt, you know, this is too short for her, you know, she only here for seven month. She really had planned to stay here longer. And, you know, it -- just make a life, you know, here. And also, how she died and why she died, I think it just felt like she's part of Boston, part of city. So, you know, the thing is, she should be here.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yeah. Yeah, because they didn't bring anything from Shenyang -- you know, I can imagine what they do just in a couple of days. And so we need to find dress for her. So her mom had this image, I think, in her head, something, she want something flowy, long. So actually, me, my sister and her mom and her aunt, four of us, we went to the mall, Boston area, just like typical shopping women. We go to different store try to find the dress. Somehow we went to a few stores. It just somehow, it did not -- we don't have the one. They couldn't find the one she wanted. So eventually some aunt -- somebody brought -- "Why don't try a bridal shop?" Actually, we did end up, you know, in a bridal shop in the outskirt of Boston. And, yeah, she find a pink princess dress. Actually, it's a bridal gown, but she wanted pink first. And then she liked the dress, the flowy thingy. And so that's where we got her dress. And that bridal shop very nice. They -- because the low cut most of the dress, so they actually used the fabric on the bottom to sew on top to cover everything and make a nice collar, like a Victorian style -- that's what she -- because her mom has -- I would think she want her to wear, you know, that kind of style dress. I think maybe for her bridal dress, I think that's what her mom had imagined, her daughter going to wear that.

JINYAN ZHAO: Bridal pink dress.

JINYAN ZHAO: And she bought her tiara.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes, I think she had this two image mixed. That's how I felt. I said, "Okay. You're going to put tiara on the bridal dress," but I guess that's what she wanted.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes, she did.

JINYAN ZHAO: No, in China, you know, most people is cremated. So it's not normal. It's not common at all.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yeah, when she buried, she -- they put a music box and some, like, books she likes very much. And her mom gave her a bracelet to put on her and then her mom also wear herself one.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yeah.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes. Yeah. I just also in the open casket, when they went to see her, is so not real. Like even you look at her, it's her there, but you just couldn't comprehend. It's still like it's hard. But her mom touch her hand, it's her hand. Later her mom told me because Lingzi has this beautiful hands, they really beautiful, like porcelain, like long piano hands, and she loved the turquoise color nail polish. And she -- her mom touched her hand and took her hand and she told me, "No matter what, I don't want to believe it's her hand; it's her."

JINYAN ZHAO: Yeah.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes. It was -- yeah, everything kind of -- you know, a lot of people attend. It's a -- I know it very hard for her and for him. I mean, he basically, he all dressed up, you know, waiting for the hotel room, for the room. And he told me, he said, "Helen, I got this feeling I'm going to give a toast in my daughter's wedding." He is totally adrenaline, you know, kind of mode, you know. He can -- I don't think he has slept a couple of hours every night. I mean, the parents are very -- they're very private, strong person -- people, and they don't show a lot of, you know, emotions in front of even us. But I'm sure in the private, in, you know, closed door, both alone, I'm sure, you know, they will be, you know, devastated. And her mom actually one time told me during that week, she told me basically -- each day, you know, she just afraid of darkness. She said she afraid of dark, I think dark, because she thought she's going to have nightmares, and just she -- it was terrifying experience.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes. Yes. I think they wrote maybe on the way here, you know. And we have -- yeah, and BU have somebody translate in English.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes.

JINYAN ZHAO: Right.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes.

JINYAN ZHAO: Yes. Yes.